Let's name the feeling.
It's the flash of anger that hits you when you open another jargon-filled email from the school, talking about your kid's "defiance." It's the bone-deep exhaustion of a man who works his ass off to provide a stable life for his family, only to be told by a system full of "experts" that you're somehow failing your own son.
You're a good dad. You show up. You coach the team. So when you finally decide to get help, your first instinct is to bring your child on the call. It comes from a good place — a desire to be transparent.
I see that instinct. I honor it. And it's the very reason I have a firm, non-negotiable boundary for this first step:
The first call is just for you.
This Isn't Therapy; It's a Strategy Session with Your New Specialist
Think of it this way: You wouldn't hire a contractor to work on your house without a private meeting to go over the blueprints. You are the general contractor for your family. I'm not here to take over the job site; I'm here to apply for a specialist role on your team. This first call is your chance to interview me.
You need a completely confidential space to speak with unfiltered honesty, without your child having to carry the weight of it. You need the freedom to say, "The school is labeling him a 'behavior problem' and I don't know how to fight them," or "I see my own anger in him and it scares the hell out of me."
This is a lie the system tells you: that asking for help is an admission of failure. That's bulls*it. Asking for help is what a good leader does when the mission is critical.
The Neuroscience of Why We Start with You
Here's the science: co-regulation is the fundamental mechanism that builds both secure attachment in childhood and the therapeutic alliance in therapy. Your child's nervous system literally learns how to regulate itself by borrowing stability from the adults around them. But you can't lend something you don't have.
And the research goes deeper: therapist autonomic regulation is a primary driver of client-therapist physiological synchrony. Translation: when your nervous system is regulated, you create the conditions for your child's nervous system to sync up and settle. The calmer you are, the more your child's system can borrow from yours.
This first call is not a luxury. It is a strategic necessity to get the team captain — you — the support and clarity needed to be a steady anchor for your kid. It's about securing your own oxygen mask first, because the science says your regulation is the primary driver of theirs.
A Clear, Two-Step Plan to Build the Right Team
Our process is direct and practical. No fluff. It's a tactical, two-step approach:
Step 1: The Parent's Call (The Strategic Briefing)
This free, 15-minute Fit Check is our time. It's where you vet me. You ask your toughest questions. We talk about the frustrating emails from the school, the challenges at home, and your goals. We determine, together, if I have the right skills for your team. We also get the "boring adult stuff" — scheduling, cost, and logistics — out of the way so it never has to take up time in your child's session.
Step 2: The Child's Welcome (The First Mission)
Once we've established our adult alliance, we become co-conspirators. We'll work together to intentionally design your child's first session so it feels less like a sterile doctor's appointment and more like meeting a new coach who already understands their world. Because of our initial call, I can walk in prepared, and your child can walk in feeling seen, not scrutinized.
You're not failing. You're a parent fighting for your kid in a system that's failing both of you. When you're ready to build a better strategy: Let's talk →
Part of: Enlitens Interview Hub → | Related: Trust-Based Financial Model · The Vibe Check
