The email notification pops up. Your "15-Minute Fit Check" is in two days. Your stomach sinks. Suddenly, you're not relieved to have taken the first step; you're in a full-on anxiety spiral.

"What do I even say? Do I need to explain my whole life story? What if I forget something important? What if they don't believe me? What if I seem like I'm not 'bad enough' to deserve help?"

Stop. Breathe. This is the old script talking — the one written by a mental health system that treats you like a test subject who has to prove their worthiness for care. We are about to tear that script up.

You Are Not the Applicant. You Are the Interviewer.

Let's reframe what this call actually is. This is not an audition where you have to perform your symptoms for a panel of judges. This is not a sales call where you are the target.

You are the hiring manager. I am the job applicant.

The burden of proof is on me — to demonstrate my competence, my approach, and whether my vibe works with yours. You do not need to "prepare." You need to show up and see how I answer your questions.

The Trap of "Preparing" Your Symptoms

That anxiety about preparing? It's the masking instinct activating in preparation for a performance. And the research names the cost: the consequences of masking are overwhelmingly negative — exhaustion, burnout, loss of identity. Preparing to perform your symptoms for a therapist is the exact behavior pattern that made you need a therapist. The system is asking you to mask in the one place that should be safe enough to stop.

And narrative worldviews help patients contextualize their trauma within larger systemic issues, reducing individual shame. Your anxiety about this call isn't a personal failing — it's a systemic training. Every intake call you've ever been on has taught you that you must earn care by proving pain. That's the system's script, not yours.

"The traditional power dynamic of intake calls — where the client must justify their need for help to a gatekeeper — is a clinical failure. It re-traumatizes the very people it's supposed to serve."

If You Must Prepare, Prepare Questions for Me

If your Executive Function demands some kind of preparation to feel safe, use it to prepare questions for me, not answers about yourself:

  • "What is your specific training in [ADHD / autism / trauma]?"
  • "What happens if I get on a waitlist — is there anything I can do in the meantime?"
  • "What is your theoretical orientation, and what does a typical session look like?"
  • "What's your policy if I decide it's not a good fit after a few sessions?"

A good therapist will welcome these questions. A defensive therapist who gets flustered is giving you valuable data: run. Because the therapeutic alliance is the most robust predictor of positive outcomes — and a therapist who can't handle your questions can't build an alliance. When you're ready to run the interview: Schedule your Fit Check →

Part of: Getting Started → | Related: Trust Your Gut · The Vibe Check