Let's start here: You were not a fool. You were not naive. You were a person in profound pain who was expertly manipulated by a predator. The shame you are carrying does not belong to you. It belongs to them.

Their Instagram feed was beautiful. They used all the right words you were so desperate to hear: "trauma-informed," "somatic," "neuro-affirming." They shared a vulnerable story that sounded just like yours. They promised a rapid, profound transformation that the slow, frustrating therapy world never could.

So you paid the high price. You trusted them.

But in the sessions, the shiny language faded. There were no real tools. When your symptoms got worse, they told you it was "part of the process" or that you were "resistant to healing." When you questioned their methods, they hinted that you were the problem. The experience didn't just fail to help; it left you feeling more broken, more ashamed, and more alone than when you started.

The Business Model of the Predatory Coaching Industry

This was not an isolated incident. This is the business model of the predatory, unregulated coaching industry. It is a multi-billion dollar grift built on the pain of the desperate. There is no governing board. There is no mandatory training. There is no accountability. It is the Wild West, and you were ambushed.

And the neuroscience explains exactly why it was so damaging: the nervous system evaluates risk without conscious awareness through a process called "neuroception." When your neuroception detected that the coach was blaming you for their failure, your nervous system registered threat. And a state of perceived safety, co-regulated by the therapist, is a biological necessity for trauma healing to begin. The predatory coach didn't just fail to help — they actively created the neurobiological opposite of healing conditions.

The life coaching industry is completely unregulated in the United States. There are no federal or state laws that set standards for the profession. Anyone can call themselves a "trauma coach" with zero training, zero oversight, and zero accountability.

Why the Shame Doubled

You went in already hurting. And the research explains what happened next: when the coach blamed you for being "resistant," they committed epistemic injustice — a significant and direct cause of mental health inequities. They silenced your valid perception that something was wrong and replaced it with their narrative that you were the problem. You didn't just lose money. You lost trust in your own judgment — the very thing therapy should be restoring.

The Red Flags You Now Know To Look For

Let's turn your traumatic experience into a powerful defense system. Here are the red flags:

  • They promise a quick fix or a guaranteed outcome. (Healing is not a guarantee; it's a process.)

  • They lack a license number. (No license means no accountability.)

  • They use shame as a tool, blaming you for being "resistant" when their methods fail.

  • Their training is a weekend certification, not a multi-year, supervised clinical degree.

  • They can't explain the neuroscience. If they use words like "somatic" or "nervous system" but can't explain what the vagus nerve actually does, it's a costume, not competence.

Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC): A clinical professional who has completed a master's or doctoral degree in counseling, passed a national board exam, and completed thousands of hours of supervised clinical experience. They are legally and ethically accountable to a state licensing board. If they harm you, they can lose their license and their livelihood. That accountability is your safety net.

There Is a Safe Harbor

Your experience was real, it was a violation, and it was not your fault. But your desire for a different, more affirming kind of help was also real and valid. Don't let a grifter poison the entire well.

There is a way to have both compassionate, affirming care and rigorous, accountable professionalism. Because the therapeutic alliance is the most robust predictor of positive outcomes — and a real alliance is built on trust, competence, and accountability. Not Instagram aesthetics.

Read about our philosophy, explore trauma-informed care, or when you're ready for a safe harbor: Let's talk →

Part of: Therapy Hub → | Related: Science of Trauma · Our Fit Manifesto