An adult asks you a question about your feelings. Your heart starts pounding. The words you need feel like they're a million miles away, on the other side of a thick, buzzing wall of static. You want to answer, you really do, but your brain is just… empty. So you look down. You shrug. The silence is heavy and you can feel their disappointment. You feel like you've failed a test you didn't know you were taking.

You have been told your silence is disrespect. You've been called "sullen," "uncooperative," or "defiant." The adult world, in its profound ignorance of the nervous system, has judged a physiological state as a moral failing. They have punished you for having a brain that is brilliantly protecting itself from what it perceives as an overwhelming threat.

The Neuroscience of Shutting Down

Let's talk about what's actually happening in your brain. According to the science of Polyvagal Theory, your nervous system is constantly scanning for safety. When it feels threatened and can't fight or flee, it has a third option: it shuts down.

And the research maps exactly what happens next: trauma survivors often experience "speechless terror" due to decreased activity in the Broca's motor speech centre. This isn't a metaphor. Broca's area — the part of your brain responsible for producing speech — literally goes offline during dorsal vagal shutdown. You are not refusing to talk; you are neurologically incapable of accessing the words in that moment.

Dorsal Vagal Shutdown:

A primitive, physiological survival state in the nervous system. When a threat feels inescapable, the brain hits an emergency brake, causing numbness, disconnection, and making language temporarily inaccessible. It is not a choice; it is an involuntary reflex.

And the clinical implications are direct: the Dorsal Vagal "shutdown" state is difficult to measure with non-invasive technology and is often identified through clinical context — meaning a therapist who demands words from you during shutdown is not just unhelpful, they're demonstrating they don't understand the state you're in.

The Nervous System Ladder

  • Top – SAFE & SOCIAL (Ventral Vagal): Calm, connected, curious. Words are easy.

  • Middle – ANXIOUS & MOBILIZED (Sympathetic): Anxious, angry, panicked. Words can be fast and sharp.

  • Bottom – SHUTDOWN (Dorsal Vagal): Numb, disconnected, frozen, silent. (You are here). Words are gone.

Why Talk Therapy Hits a Wall

Research confirms: healing from trauma requires "bottom-up" approaches that regulate the body's physiology, as "top-down" talk therapies are often insufficient. If the language centers of your brain are offline, a therapy model that depends entirely on language is like demanding someone read a book with the lights off. The medium doesn't match the state.

Your shutdown is not a character flaw. It is a brilliant, ancient survival strategy. The problem isn't your brake system; it's that the world keeps creating situations that make your brain feel the need to slam on it.

The Workshop Has More Than One Tool

The goal of genuinely trauma-informed therapy is not to force you to talk. The goal is to create a space so safe that your nervous system doesn't need to hit the brakes. And we have other tools for when it does:

  • We can use a shared virtual whiteboard to draw or type.
  • We can build a LEGO city that tells a story you don't have the words for.
  • We can use a shared screen to look at memes or videos that explain how you feel.
  • We can just sit in comfortable silence until your system comes back online.

Talking is just one tool in the workshop, and half the time it's not even the best one. You do not have to talk to heal. You just have to show up. When you're ready for a process that respects your silence: Let's get to work →

Part of: Therapy & Coaching → | Related: Polyvagal Theory · Bottom-Up Therapy